This week I'm going to my state's gifted and talented organization conference. I'm going with a slight amount of guilt - it will be my first overnight trip away from my family, and also I have some work responsibilities that I needed to shift onto my co-workers in order to have the day off. But now that it's all arranged and settled I'm moving away from guilt and toward anxiety.
Emotions are fun!
For some reason the idea of going and doing this by myself is really throwing me for a loop. If I was taking a kid or two with me I'd feel a lot more at ease. But the idea of just being on my own and doing my own thing feels so strange. When did my identity shift so far away from "Christine" and come to rest so firmly on "Mom?" Also, the conference has a listing that shows who is attending, so I was able to scan it and see how many people I might be acquainted with so I'd know how many people I have to avoid. What I lack in small-talk ability I make up for in social awkwardness, so I hate running into people I know.
Sorry son, I think you get your lack of social ability from me.
Still, I've heard the conference is really good and the breakout sessions I'm going to are all part of a special track just for parents. I'm hoping for a lot of good information because every year I feel like I need more good information. Just like I need a night of watching what I want on TV and not having people interrupt me every ten minutes in a hotel the night before the conference.
This might be a good opportunity on a number of levels.