Sunday, August 7, 2016

Wait and See

The first day of school is a little less than a month away, but I've already started having nightmares. Last night I dreamt that I was at my kids' old school, and my daughter came running up to me, absolutely hysterical and with her dress torn. She said a teacher tried to attack her and tore her dress. Immediately my son's old teacher, the school psychologist, and a couple other teachers came up to me and started telling me that the teacher she was accusing was new, but very trustworthy, and that he'd never do anything wrong. I alternated between trying to calm her and insisting that someone investigate, and they alternated between being patronizing, cajoling, and dismissive. I just kept looking at my daughter, sobbing and insisting that he was trying to hurt her, and looking at them, smiling and saying there wasn't a problem.

I don't always believe in dream interpretation, but other times my subconscious is anything but subtle.

I feel like I'm right where I was in August of 2015, and August of 2014. No matter how much we learn about our kids, about what works and what doesn't, about their strengths and weaknesses, no matter how much work we do or what other professionals we involve, every summer brings the same thing. Waiting and seeing what the school wants to do, and what the teachers feel is appropriate. Waiting on their goodwill and seeing how it will play out.

I HATE not being in control. "Wait and see" is not my favorite.

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